Video: First impressions: the do’s and don’ts of meeting people

The rise of social networking has made it more difficult to make face-to-face connections with people. As part of the Chronicle’s ongoing series on the new age of dating, we talked to a dating expert from Vancouver company ManMeetsWoman as well as several Kwantlen students. Video by Jocelyn Gollner, Meagan Gill and Amanda Punshon.

Dancing with the students

(Photo by Paul Fleischanderl)

Students who think they can dance can put their skills to the test at classes of Group Groove in Kwantlen’s Blossoming Lotus Studio.

Group Groove is an upbeat, one-hour session that gets your body movin’ and booty shakin’. In 60 minutes, you practice disco, salsa, hip-hop, cha cha and a unique variety of interpretive movements.

“They’re all merged together. I’ve learned a few moves from the disco era and Latin era. It’s cool because I never thought I’d learn those things,” said Leandro Sublay, 18, who studies foundations in design.

“It’s kind of like jazzersize. It’s a cardio workout. You do the steps to do the cardio, not to do it perfect,” said Kaila Butler, 20, who also studies foundations in design.

Dancing can be great for letting loose, or a whole lot of fun if you just want to shake a leg. There’s a vital source of energy to be tapped in the motion of dance, and Group Groove shows you don’t need to be hammered in a club to get jiggy with it.

“It allows me to release my energy and opens up a totally new style of exercise,” said Sublay.

“I always knew dance was very physically enduring, and it really enforces that. You come out and your arms and legs are sore,” said Butler.

There’s no shortage of enthusiasm either. It’s smiles and laughter when you’re ridin’, slidin’, whippin’a and dippin’ to high tempo beats in a positive atmosphere.

“It’s lots of fun and I laugh pretty much through the whole thing,” said Butler.

“I dabble in choreography, so the class gives me inspiration to think of new moves and bring a fresh new flavour to the hip-hop scene,” said Sublay.

Classes are held on Monday and Thursday from 5:15 to 6:15 p.m. They cost $25 to $35 depending on your medical coverage. For more information, contact the KSA.

The new age of breakups

Social media, such as Facebook, is affecting many aspects of our lives, such as how we breakup. (Photo by Jocelyn Gollner)

By Jocelyn Gollner and Amanda Punshon

In today’s age of social networking, sites such as Facebook and Twitter have become such a part of our lives that they even affect our break-ups.

“I hear very often that [people] meet on eHarmony or someplace like that. And so how they come together is kind of based on this artificial information that they have about each other,” said Bruce Bailey, a counsellor at Kwantlen Polytechnic University. “Instead of connecting, they just kind of… miss… just a bit at the beginning, and then they never really quite figure out how to build [a relationship.]“

Bailey said one of the main reasons that couples have trouble connecting is a lack of face-to-face contact. Tweeting and emailing replace actual conversations, and it’s harder to forge an attachment.

Without that initial connection, the relationship can start to fall apart, and once it does, people often choose to end things using social networking.

“Before the social media that we have, people would either call or break up in person. Maybe it’s a reflection of my age, but I’m a little surprised that people can text one another and break up that way,” Bailey said.

He said that despite the volume of communication that goes on via social networking, “the sense that I have, and this isn’t the least bit scientific, is that social media has left us completely exposed to the whole world.”

‘It’s like a pack of wolves

Alicia Con, a Kwantlen student, agreed.

“If you put it on Facebook it’s like a pack of wolves,” she said. “You’re basically setting yourself up for that. If you’re a more social person, and then once you break up, everyone’s like ‘Oh what happened, what happened, what happened?’ I think, just from previous experience, I’ve just learned not to put stuff like that up on Facebook. Because even if you take your status down, people are like ‘Oh are you dating someone?’ So it’s kind of giving people the opportunity to be really nosy.”

Peter Chow-White, assistant professor in the School of Communication at SFU, however, said that social media is often used in “finding out information about partners who may not be behaving monogamously.”

It’s a trend that Kwantlen counsellors and students have noticed as well.

“I find that young women will monitor the computer activity of their boyfriend,” Bailey said. “That’s a real issue — the whole ‘I don’t trust him. What should I do?’ And she’s not quite sure whom he’s talking to…[women] don’t like that.”

“If a girl or a guy sees a picture on Facebook or something of their boyfriend or their girlfriend with someone else, it could lead to a breakup,” said Amit Aujla, a Kwantlen student.

A cautuon against Facebook-creeping

It’s not just people who are dating who monitor each others’ online profiles. Exes are often just as nosy.

“One of my favourite comments from one of my students is that ‘my boyfriend and I broke up and then I saw that he friended his ex-girlfriend and I totally lost my…’ you know, fill in the blank,” said Chow-White.

Bailey cautioned against this so-called “Facebook creeping,” saying that while it mirrors what some older women do — namely, hiring a private investigator to make sure their partner isn’t lying — it’s “a little less valid, because a private investigator is trained and simply gets the information that they come across…an awful lot on Facebook is not true, necessarily, so checking him out is not necessarily checking him out.”

If you can’t seem to restrain yourself from creeping on your ex, there are online sites to help.

Blockyourex.com is a way for people to curb their Facebook-creeping habits. They enter their exes name, Facebook and Twitter account info and the URL of their blog, and then they can’t access any of their online information.

Another on-line site full of social media info and advice is Allfacebook.com. The self-proclaimed “Unofficial Facebook Resource,” provides satirical tips to help you “protect your emotional well-being.”

Tips include taking note of all your exes new friends (“this will provide you with more stalker material to draw false conclusions from,”) posting photos with members of the opposite sex (“by posting photos with others, you demonstrate that the relationship meant nothing to you [even though it clearly did],”) and applying new privacy settings (“while you may want your ex to see photos of you with a cute new romantic interest, you probably don’t want them to see the photos of the drunken stupor you got into last night.”)

Kwantlen student dances her way to the top 14

Nathalie Heath dances with her partner Mackenzie Green on So You Think You Can Dance Canada. (Photo by CTV)

They say the third time’s the charm, and for Kwantlen student Nathalie Heath, her third audition to be on CTV’s So You Think You Can Dance Canada landed her one of the coveted top 22 spots.

And she isn’t looking back. Now a part of the show’s top 14, Heath is living her dream and forging her future.

“It’s been awesome; I’ve had such a good experience,” she said.

The 23-year-old Surrey-ite is two years into her business management degree, but has taken time off from Kwantlen to pursue her opportunity.

“I just really wanted to make the most of it, and whether I win or not doesn’t really matter,” Heath explained.

She is no stranger to fame and exposure. Heath was a lead dancer in Michael Bublé’s “Haven’t Met You Yet” music video, and danced in the 2010 Olympic opening ceremonies during Sarah McLachlan’s performance. However, she says her experience on So You Think You Can Dance Canada is unique.

“When you’re doing a music video or you’re doing a job, […] you’re kind of like wallpaper. Like at the opening ceremonies, I was dancing for Sarah McLachlan and obviously the cameras were more on [her] than they were on me,” Heath said.

“[This show] is definitely such a great way of exposing yourself to people and film and TV, and to network.”

Jean Marc Généreux, a permanent judge on the show, agrees that the show provides dancers with numerous opportunities.

“I think it’s an amazing platform,” he said. “It’s pivotal in their lives and instrumental for their futures.”

But the experience doesn’t come without difficulties: Heath has been in Toronto for six weeks, away from family and friends. And rehearsals are relentless.

“The most difficult aspect is the fact that we never get a break. We dance every day, and we never have a day off. “I’ve learnt that I’m a lot tougher skinned than I thought I was. [But] I haven’t really had a breakdown,” she joked.

Heath’s hard work hasn’t gone unnoticed.

Généreux, a seasoned ballroom dancer who has won all of the major ballroom championships in North America and has competed in 10 world championships, sees Heath’s potential.

“People will remember her. She’s on the show to stay. This girl is going nowhere. She’s here, we want her, we’re going to keep her, and is an amazing [performer],” he said.

So You Think You Can Dance Canada airs Wednesdays and Thursdays on CTV: Dancers perform their routines on Wednesday, and Thursday is the voting results show.

And voting is crucial. Each week, the three dance couples with the fewest number of votes is placed in the bottom three, and are put at risk of being eliminated from the show.

Regardless, Heath knows it’s the experience that counts.

“This show doesn’t define me,” she said. “We get to really be in the spotlight and we are the show and we have a fan base and we get to showcase our personalities and it’s so much fun. [But] I honestly just want to dance.”

Free concert series returns to Kwantlen

Music at Midweek has begun again at Kwantlen.

Every Wednesday at 12:15 p.m., musical performances will go on at Kwantlen’s Langley auditorium, just as they have for the past several years.

The shows, which typically last 45 minutes, are free to anyone who is interested.

“We would love to have as many people from the community or from other parts of Kwantlen [as possible],” said Zdenek Skoumal, this year’s head organizer.

The events in the first half of the semester will feature professional musicians from outside of Kwantlen.

Last Wednesday, violinist Calvin Dyck performed with pianist Betty Suderman in front of nearly 100 people.

The aim, Skoumal said, is to “introduce [music students] to really fine music-making.”

“It inspires you as a musician.”

The second half of the semester, beginning Oct. 27, will feature Kwantlen students performing different styles of music.

“They watch each other as they perform, so it works on various levels,” Skoumal said.

The next performance — Wednesday, Sept. 22 — will feature the Campbell Ryga Jazz Trio.

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